Sunday, September 1, 2024

I cry for you, Israel.

Yesterday Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Eden Yerushalmi, Carmel Gat, Ori Danino, Almog Sarusi and Alexander Lobanov were killed inside a tunnel in Rafah. Since the news broke I haven't been able to write anything about it except my thoughts are with their families, especially with Rachel and Jon's family for the loss of their beloved son and brother Hersh. It may sound unfair but it's how I feel because I came to know them so well over the past almost eleven months since October 7. I am sorry. May the memories of Hersh, Eden, Carmel, Ori, Almog and Alexander be a blessing and may their families find some peace in this unimaginable tragedy.

Those names will forever live in a broken corner of my heart, shattered into a million pieces. From the moment the IDF put out a more detailed statement a particular part of it haunted me. They mentioned the six hostages were killed just before they could reach them. I kept looking for more information. Jewish influencers with good connections in the Israeli government were repeating this particular detail in various forms and so did the IDF as they released further statements: "days before", "a few hours before", "moments before"... The final official source stated, based on first hand knowledge, they were killed "shortly before we reached them". This can only mean one thing.

It's a warm late Summer morning. I was sitting outside just now. There is a gentle cool breeze and the sun is shining through the trees. I look at the sky and think it's the same sky Rachel Goldberg is looking at. The sky Hersh couldn't see for 329 days. The sky he will never see again. I become aware of my breathing, how I hold my coffee cup, how the breeze feels on my skin. Life becomes ominous and unbearable. It's hard to breathe and hard to keep tears from falling. And I cry for you, Israel. I can't help it.

I try not to look at social media much but I am searching for news about the hostage families and reading other's grieving, heartbroken words. I inevitably run across other words, hateful words, bloodthirsty words. I block them. I lost count how many. I find the Goldberg-Polin family announcement of his funeral. Very few heartbroken words. "With broken hearts we part from our cherished son and brother Hersh, a child of light, love and peace." It will be tomorrow, September 2, at 4 pm. 29 Menachem Avenue. It is signed "Jon, Rachel, Leebie and Orly." Words don't come easy...

The image of Rachel collapsing over the lectern at the DNC, August 21, is burnt into my soul. Hersh was still alive. When Netanyahu paused the negotiations against the advice of the Israeli intelligence and the negotiators themselves to come to the United States in a despicable Public Relations stunt Hersh was still alive. When Rachel, Jon and the parents of other hostages gathered by the border with Gaza and screamed the names of their loved ones into the sky, three days ago, Hersh was still alive. Last Friday, when the Israeli Security Cabinet met by surprise at the request of Netanyahu, Hersh was still alive.

That meeting will live in infamy in the hearts of all who hoped to get the hostages home. The Times of Israel has it all documented here (click the link). It was August 30, on a Friday night. Hersh was still alive. The meeting transcripts are brutal. The objective was to include a new clause in the deal being negotiated with Hamas: the refusal to let go of the 14 Km (aprox. 9 miles) Philadelphi Corridor along Gaza's border with Egypt under any circumstances. Of the nine members present, only one spoke up: Yoav Gallant, the Defense Minister. “The significance of this is that Hamas won’t agree to it, so there won’t be an agreement and there won’t be any hostages released,” Gallant told the ministers.

The IDF, the Mossad, all the Israeli military and intelligence communities have been telling Netanyahu for a long time that the objectives they set out to achieve in Gaza were mostly completed and any loss due to a deal would be recovered if and when the need arose. Time and again, despite outlandish demands by Hamas, the people who actually put their lives at risk on the ground told Bibi to take the deal. They would handle the consequences. They were shut down every time. At the August 30 meeting, "Gallant told the ministers that their vote means that if Israel faces “two possibilities — either keeping the IDF deployed on the Philadelphi Corridor or bringing home the hostages — (they were) deciding to stay on the Philadelphi Corridor. "Does this seem logical to you?” Gallant asked. “There are living (hostages) there!” he exclaimed." (quote from The Times of Israel).

Shortly before they were reached, Hamas executed the six hostages with a shot to the head. No deal had been reached. The IDF got information on a tunnel and went in. Their job is to try and rescue the hostages. With unthinkable courage they brave the dark lairs where they may lose their lives to find the hostages still kept there. They almost made it this time but they weren't fast enough. I can't imagine what they felt as they ran into the six bodies. They've seen the photos; they knew who they were. The unbearable weight of that moment on their shoulders. Maybe if they made it a few minutes sooner... How do you live with that? And how do you keep fighting when the government you fight for keeps getting in the way of your objective? Not the stupid unattainable goal of "total victory" over Hamas, that's ridiculous; the real goal of rescuing the hostages by any means necessary.
 
They were alive a few hours ago. That's the truth. I have these words stuck in my throat that need to come out. Hamas doesn't want peace. They are the root cause of all this evil. Hamas murdered those six hostages. I know that, nobody needs to fucking remind me of that. What I also know is there was a real possibility of saving them, and who knows how many more if not all, and EIGHT votes to ONE (Gallant) the Israeli government decided to keep a stupid 9 mile corridor instead of trying to save them. The IDF stands ready to suffer anything to make up for any loss after the hostages are all home, but Netanyahu doesn't care. All the remaining hostages mean nothing to him. So fuck them all. Fuck Netanyahu and fuck Hamas and fuck anyone who thinks a delusional "total victory" is possible and worth all these deaths. I cry for you, Israel.

He Who makes peace in His heavens,
may He make peace for us and for all Israel.
Amen.

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I cry for you, Israel.

Yesterday Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Eden Yerushalmi, Carmel Gat, Ori Danino, Almog Sarusi and Alexander Lobanov were killed inside a tunnel in R...